garyfultz

Crying…What’s With That?

I was a teenager when I first saw the picture of a young girl weeping while holding a tuft of grass Ringo (from the Beatles) had walked on. At the time I remember thinking “get it together girl.” Now here I am almost 40 years later and I have my moments of weeping. What’s with that?

Somewhere all the joys and pain of life seem to surface when I am alone in nature. A sunrise on the mountainside or a small birch tree shedding it’s brown skin for new white bark can set me off. I connect with the pains of nature as something must die for an animal to live. Life and death are everywhere in the woods. I watched a large porcupine skirt the bark all around a tree. The top of the tree will die as the bark is now gone. This guy did more than eat the outer bark which would only leave a scar. I shot it with the camera.

I took a picture of the aftermath of the beavers preparing for winter. They cleared about two acres of trees on the one side of their pond. The next time I came back their small beaver house was ripped up and the beavers were gone. I saw bear tracks and gray wolf tracks in the mud. I spent some time in quite reflection. We think we live in a violent world.

I held my gun on a very large black fisher as it ran toward me and stopped ten feet away and realized I probably was not a tree. Fishers are a smaller and very agile version of the wolverine and a vicious predator. I experienced exhilaration off the charts. It’s right up there with chasing bear out of our wilderness campsites.

Nature does not have the emotion we do. Everything is face value at the moment. Instinct but no reasoning. I don’t know why a birch tree shedding it’s bark reminded me of the pain of the kids leaving home (which is good, normal and healthy), or the loss of my long-time job and the pain of transition. When the beaver pond froze over it exposed my soul to myself; as if it was an object lesson from God himself saying “Gary your emotions are frozen over like this pond”.

Have you ever become numb in your emotions from pain and loss? Maybe there is some healing in weeping and holding onto your tuft of grass. I guess I recommend time alone in nature. Let God speak to you through natures object lessons.

Gary

Day Before Snow

I stopped at the mail box on my way home from work to catch the sun going down. It was over-sized and red as the air was filled with the smell of smoke all day from wildfires 90 miles northwest of us. We were down-wind but grateful the fires would not reach much further before the rains turning to snow in a massive cold front were just over the hills on my right.

If my life were a movie it would be full of flash-backs. I stared only a couple of minutes as years of my life went by. The sun seemed to be taking some of my hopes and dreams with it over the horizon. I am in the fall season of my life and I feel my leaves turning like the scenery ahead. Tomorrow it will snow and turn into blizzard conditions here in northern Minnesota. I know it will melt and do it again a few times before real winter sets in but the golden leaves will be stripped in the storm. I can only watch and tune in with all my senses to see a small boy wandering the woods with a bow, a gun, camera, girlfriend, wife, daughters and a son. I stop here and there but I emerge with a gray beard and grandchildren running around me. The flash-back quits and I see the sun has set with only a red glow left. Out of nowhere a few tiny drops of rain catch my hand and I leave the darkening scene.

Yes I have a lot of years left. Maybe. Only God knows. The uncertainty of life from one day to the next is as real as beautiful sunsets and harsh blizzards. The certainty of life is that everyone (who lives very long at all) gets both the beauty and harshness of life along the way. Life is not a “deserved” commodity or a “fair” contracted event on our particular time-line.

I walked into the house, a refuge from the oncoming storm; I greeted my wife and thanked God for being my ultimate refuge throughout my life and whatever lies ahead. Once again I vowed to continue living vivaciously, loving deeply, and drinking often from the fountain of adventure. After all, there are perks to the blizzards of life.

Gary

Time windows

For five days a bunch of us flailed the northern Minnesota waters for Walleye, Northern Pike, Bass, Crappie, and whatever might bite. We caught fish, had fish fries, and told stories. Some mornings the frost was heavy on the boats and frozen to the touch in the below freezing weather. I would have to say we caught a lot of little fish and a quite a few to eat. Some have even said that this COFA fish camp is a “best kept secret.”

Here we are folks, it’s hard to get smaller than that!

Then there are others not so bad…

And then there is a time when Fish Camp ends and I go out alone just one more time just to see if the guys are right “there’s no big fish in this lake”

Ya!, now it’s warm out and the wind has died down. The bigger fish have turned on and it’s only a small window of time this will happen. I caught the small one’s and a nice mid-size pike among some real monsters feeding (judging by the swirls over the weed bed). Next year we will hit the window guys!

Timing the windows of opportunity; fishing, job, selling the house, and life in general. We just don’t know do we? I know that God knows but he doesn’t always tell us these details. For now, I will run fish camp four days later next year and see which windows are open. However, In three minutes I promised my wife a date and I’m not going to let that window close on me!!!

Gary

A Fish Story…With Pictures

The world is full of people like me. We keep the economy going. My part is the fishing economy. Yesterday is as good an example as any but there is a common thread that bothers me a bit in my real life stories. Nuts to the economy, I just want to have an adventure just once without a hiccup.

My next younger brother will be teaching on the other side of the world this next year so we had to have a last fling together on a favorite lake. I went through the regular checks (all from previous expensive experiences) on the boat as we hooked up; tires inflated – check, hitch lever latched – check, trolling motor locked down – check, rods – check, tackle box – check, life jackets – check, duct tape – check, new anchor – check, Anchor tied on this time – check (and the list sadly grows).

I just added three items to the shopping list today; “bulk jigs” , “new anchor with a better rope” and submersible trailer lights. Last time I bought a bilge pump as the boat had popped a rivet and my fix made it worse. I shall support the local boat repair shop (as soon as the bilge pump quits).

All in all we had a great time on the lake. we caught a bunch of tiny camera-shy pike and a few crappies for our pike fish fry. I hope your labor day weekend is as great as ours and maybe even less expensive. I did lose my anchor to a badly neglected rope and a pile of jigs to the pike. you guys coming to fish camp…don’t worry! It’s going to be great. The fish are biting but put new line on your reels.

Notice: the trolling motor is still attached, my COFA hat didn’t blow off in the stiff wind, and the fish are now boneless fillets ready for the fryer. Oh yes, I am looking at garage sales for anchor #4.
Come and fish with us in Minnesota sometime! I have a boat!

Gary

Fade Away

I love light. My wife will often say “we don’t need all the lights on”! I quickly check the basement, garage, and closets and reply “I turned some off”! It has been suggested that I do not drive during sunsets and rises as I tend to “sky gaze” a bit. Country living has it’s advantages as most people have four wheel drive in northern Minnesota. They can usually drive out of the ditch or wait for the next 4×4 with a tow rope after avoiding me (sorry about that Al).

This evening I caught a few crappies while watching the clouds dance and churn and part the light spectrum. My little world bumped against centuries of this precisely executed fade away. I guess I’m allowed one deeper thought while I just enjoy being caught up in the moment. I do know that I am at peace with myself, God and the universe when on a quiet lake watching the colors act out and fade away. Time stops and even Al is not mad at me anymore.

As I get older, I want to show some color before I, too, someday, fade away.

Gary

PS: Do I need to explain about Al or can we just leave it alone?
What does a sunset do to you?

Green Rivers

Sometimes strange things happen in life for reasons even we can figure out. I’ve asked Tracy DeMarse (my daughter) to be a guest blogger. You will enjoy this and please make comments below.

Green Rivers

By Tracy DeMarse

Do you ever look back and notice crazy threads that somehow seem to keep showing up in your life? Like knowing a different couple named “Mike and Julie” in all five cities you’ve lived in so far? Or no matter how many job changes you have you always seem to have a boss named “Mitch”? For me it usually involves “Green River.”

The first Green River was a small town in Utah. Wikipedia tells me its population is around 973. It is miles away from any other large town and surrounded by cattle and desert. It is also where the alien planet scenes from Galaxy Quest were filmed. My husband and I had been married for about a year and were headed to LA for his summer internship when our truck broke down there. Actually, it didn’t just break down; the engine overheated and then melted back together in a big useless metal lump. The local mechanic said he could get to it in a week or so. We checked into a hotel, called our parents to tell them our situation and then just sat back to try to figure out a game plan. Twenty minutes later the local church pastor was at our door inviting us to dinner with his family.

Talk about word getting around fast in a small town. Actually, my Dad had gotten out his invaluable little black book and started making a few calls. Who would have guessed that a girl from Northern Minnesota could find a connection in Green River, UT? But, truth being stranger than fiction somehow the dots had connected. It turned out my great-aunt had a cousin who knew a guy… Yeah, seven degrees of Gary Fultz had provided the pastor of the only Christian church in town. He turned out to be a very gracious host with a lovely wife and three kids that all helped to make what did end up being a week-long stay an actually memorable and even pleasant experience.

At the time my young self just sort of floated through the week and said that was fun and went on with life. Learn something? Was I supposed to? Recalling now all that they did for us I am so amazed at the kindness of strangers. They helped us get a used engine from a town on the Colorado border to save quite a bit off the mechanic’s bid and put us up in a house the church owned in exchange for mowing and cleaning. I got to lead praise and worship music with their small congregation; another new experience. We didn’t have to cover many of our meals because we were invited over for dinner by multiple members of the church. We even spent Mother’s Day with the entire extended family of a local cattle rancher. Everyone got their own very large and very fresh stake right off the grill. Yum!

It wasn’t all fun and games, it did come with quite a price tag to fix up our truck and we arrived a week late for the internship. But, those are the things that now seem inconsequential. When I think of that week, I have fond memories. Family games, bike rides with the pastor’s kids, long walks with my husband, and being welcomed and showered with hospitality when we could offer virtually nothing in return.

I can’t help but wonder had the tables been turned if I would have gone to such lengths for the young stranded couple in my town? I was shown a wonderful example of individuals willing to be the hands and feet of Christ. I got to experience being on the receiving end of that in a time of need. How would that week have felt without their willingness to serve?

The end of the same summer found us breaking down yet again in Green River. This one was a town in Wyoming. It was the middle of the night and nothing was open until morning. We spent the night on the side of a highway in a cold, cramped truck that shook every time traffic blew by us. By morning we were stiff, sore and exhausted. However, we were pretty close to the nearest town and the mechanic was helpful and friendly. It was just the water pump and he could fit us in right away. He called over to a local hotel that let us crash there and sleep while for just a few dollars. A second Green River experience had been another small example of people making the load a little lighter. Coincidence? Is there such a thing?

Fast forward a decade or so and our young family of four is moving to a small Kentucky town located on, yes, the Green River. Once more finding ourselves miles from home and trying to navigate new surroundings. Once more being taken under the wings of some wonderful Christian women and loved, nurtured and upheld as I got my bearings. I thank God once again for the willingness of those women to be his hands and feet and show me around town and lead me along while I adjusted to a new place and new roles. James tells us that “Faith without works is dead.” Does that mean that works are tied to salvation? No. Read the rest of the book, salvation itself is in no way tied to anything we could ever do, but the ever practical James is telling us like it is, that actions speak louder than words and true faith will show itself. As I reflect I am challenged. This thread is not new. Jesus himself demonstrated time and again what it should look like. This is my Green River, the servant thread being woven into my life. I need to be open and willing to be those hands and feet and to show my faith in those practical ways; to serve. I’m still here by the Green River, so God must have a few things planned for me. Maybe I can be His hands and feet in someone else’s “Green River”. Do you have a crazy thread? What is being woven into your life?

Tracy

Build Your House Where?

house on rock edit — It’s all on a rock from lake through driveway

Vision. Buy a rock on a lake shared by Canada and the United States and build your house on it.

Most of us would opt for a level foundation, an easy way to plumb to the well and septic system, and drive into the garage attached to the house. Winters here have reached -50 below zero plus the wind chill off the lake (one can spit and it freezes in mid-air at that temperature, I have tried it and I’m sure that just made your day better). Today in mid July it will reach 90 degrees inland but on the water its’ nice with a breeze. Today, it’s worth it all.

Builders say that a house can only be as stable as it’s foundation. I dare say this one has a lot of potential stability if it’s anchored well.

Why is there a part us that calls us to places like this? Wouldn’t you love to watch the sun rise on the waters in the still of the morning or enjoy the cool breeze off the lake in the mid-day heat? How about enjoying the adventure of watching the storms roll across the lake; thunder and lightening in full strength and scurrying off the deck in the last second to weather the storm in the safety of this fortress. Some of you would be in the tower just for the adrenaline.

I marvel at the vision someone had to build this place but I will admit to being easily impressed. I guess it all comes down to those anchors holding the house on the rock. No matter how good the rock or the building they must be anchored properly. Too often these are the things I don’t take time to inspect until after the big storm.

It makes sense that anchor points seem to be needed in most areas of my life. No matter how great I am as a person my relationships cannot weather life’s strong storms without a stronger commitment to the other person. I sometimes ask questions that I don’t get to answer but I know I have a choice in the making. How much am I anchored in my Job? (I know that the real question is: “How valuable have I made myself to the company?”) How good of a friend am I in all my relationships (remind to to answer that one later, or not)?

This nice sloping rock is also a walkway or a driveway right to the house. I suspect I will pass this way again as the fishing is great, the wilderness is in me, and I have an open invite. It’s places like this that call me out to be a better person and remind me of who I need to become. I am fortunate to know some people who are like this place, they are like a rock. I bet they have put down some solid anchor points in their life. They were trustworthy long before they were known as someone who could be trusted.

What kinds of things challenge you to keep becoming a better person? In my life I have found a solid rock in my relationship with God. He is my rock and I cannot impress him by anything I do. I can only know and follow. That relationship is only as good as I anchor. I fish a lot and a couple of these pictures were taken from the lake. Sometimes I am more like my boat, just drifting wherever the wind blows. My prayer is that I will not be a drifter. That is my prayer for you as well.

Gary

When Giants Fall

I’m convinced that when a husband and wife quit courting, their relationship starts to die.

It’s not pretty. It’s dead. A dead root on a very live tree. The tree was growing on the side of a huge rock in our Boundary Waters Wilderness camp site when we made camp. This rock could have been miles long or just the size of a football field; so yes, huge. All the trees roots grew down towards the water but one. This one. It was probably in trouble for quite some time as it died and rotted to the point of being hollow. One day it could not hold the tree up any longer.

We were going to use this tree to hang our food pack out of bear reach but opted for something away from camp. At first glance this is the perfect leaning “food pack” tree. Our pack would have been twelve feet above the ground, four feet down from the limb, and way more than four feet from the nearest tree trunk (highly recommended). Now I know that if a bear had climbed the tree it would have toppled it and made the bear think he was invincible. There’s nothing worse to campers than a bear overestimating himself except campers like me who bean them with rocks over some food. So far it’s Gary three and the bears zero.

I will be the first to admit my trusting nature. I don’t inspect chairs before sitting, test the car brakes before I drive, or check expiration dates while grocery shopping. Historically I should check everything given my first stock broker ended up in jail for fraud, A saw blade came off and cut both my arms to the bone once, and I am in general accident prone (some say all those around me are in danger but I don’t think so). Yet I as well as most people do not take the time to be root inspectors of potential problems that might happen.

My short-comings may be numerous but I may have stumbled upon (quite intentionally actually) a system in life that has worked for me. I am quite committed to my own personal growth mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually. I still court my wife, read books that challenge me, watch what I eat (sometimes take pictures), learn new music and write new songs, spend time reading the Bible, listening and talking to God, and I make sure I go to one or more conferences yearly.

“When one is not growing, they are dying.” This is not a theory in any part of life.

We left camp for a few hours to explore and fish and a perfectly healthy tree crashed on the rocks. The main root had died long before the crash. A friend came home from work to find a note and his wife and kids were gone. The roots had died. Today (national news) a banker took his life as all of his doctoring the books were to be discovered. Our great country has printed how much money to keep from crashing for how long? Healthy growing roots are important and even whole countries are not exempt.

What are you doing to keep healthy and grow yourself and those around you?

Gary

Reflections

Water Reflection

I need reflection. Sometimes I have to reflect on what is important in my life right now and what is not. After this picture was taken I took a video of more water reflection. Check it out here as there is a small fun surprise. The water was in a great reflective mood throughout our trip but it was sure hard to see the rocks hidden just under the surface. I left part of my canoe on a couple of them. I suspect there is quite an object lesson in life I should learn (sometime).

I have been called a dreamer and I suppose it’s somewhat true. I take time to reflect and dream as I tend to go through life 90+ mph and really don’t have the time to get it right when it comes to a proper perspective. Reflecting time in the wilderness helps but not until the fourth day have I slowed enough to see the needles on the pine trees. Paddling a canoe, listening to the waves or a crackling fire also slows me down so much my mind interprets it as depression (but it’s a happy depression in this place). This particular trip I thought about all the responsibilities I have taken on and those I have avoided. Job, church, music, speaking, and a few people came to mull this time. Sometimes God has a peculiar way of being silent when I ask him about it and I don’t have any leverage on the Almighty as some seem to think is possible.

A profitable reflection takes time. It’s also a good thing to stay out of the picture. Somehow my reflection in the water felt more out-of-place than the moon. Why is it hard to understand that so much of life is not about me? Why do I try to fit into more pictures than I should? I guess that’s a part of my fascination with reflection. Where do I fit in this life and is there a better way to go about it? What am I missing that is probably right in front of me? So I throw a rock into the water and my therapy session, um, reflection time is over.

My goal is to understand past the depths of all those motivational quotes, bible verses, and easy answers that so easily come to mind when I get in a reflective place. There were hidden depths to the water mirrored in front of me as I sat pondering and admiring the wonders of nature. My prayer to God was “Lord show me the depths of living a life with purpose to you and all those around me.” Sometimes the clear water is a mirror and sometimes it’s like seeing through glass depending on the conditions. I want to be there when I can see the depths of lake and life.

What do you do to take time to reflect? does it work? how do you get past the surface reflection into the depths of life?

Gary

Green Side Forever

We canoed through miles of fire burned wilderness lakes and rivers on trip #58. Except for the lake and lowland edges everything was black . What a relief to find the green side and all kinds of life. We had to stop and take some pictures, fish a little, and make camp. I really like the green side, go green!

Fire kills everything. I mourn the loss of hundreds of years of humus burned down one to three feet to the bedrock and the harsh death of any creature there. A forest of blackened dead trees is still standing with their roots fully exposed where there once was soil, lichens, moss, and some supply of nutrients. We had eaten lunch on a burned island where the rocks at the edges of the lakes crumbled a quarter-inch of corn-flake type material under our feet. More than once we saw huge whitened bones at the waters edges. Being there it’s still hard to imagine almost 100,000 acres of burned wilderness. We paddled until we could camp in the live green forest with mosquitoes flies and ants, rather than camp in a dead zone where only the low land had some greenery coming back. The shade and shelter in a live forest were worth a few mosquitoes as we stepped into greenery and life.

I have a new respect for fire and that’s a huge understatement. In the Bible fire is used to describe hell and none of us should take that as lightly as we do no matter what level you are on spiritually. Don’t laugh- the thought that went through my mind was “this is not a place to play the I don’t believe in hell”card.

I want to live life on the green side. Do you think it matters how and where we live? I do. I think we spread life or death to those around us. I think what’s inside of us comes out and spills over. Sometimes a smile gives life while a nasty word flicks a match. It’s no secret that I am a follower of Jesus. Why? because Jesus gives life. If you ever see a bumper sticker that says”Green Side Forever” I want one. Where in this picture do you see yourself living? Black or Green?

Want to come to the Boundary waters canoe Area Wilderness sometime? Thankfully most of it is still green.

Gary