Stoked

Posted byGary FultzPosted inabundant life, accomplishment, accountability, adventure, Build a fire, devotional, devotional thoughts, eternal, Faith, Gary Fultz, Gary Fultz Blog, goals, good marriage, initiator, intentional, Nature, outdoor adventure, outdoor spiritual truths, perspective, Planning, purpose in life, quality of life, relationship with God, Work Hard

Marriage for us was like a bird taking a flying leap off a treetop before spreading its wings to fly. We were young but very committed to each other. I think the word “stoked” fits well.

Ahh, to be young again

By the time this picture was taken we were 9 years into adventuring life together. We had survived my cliff diving, several wilderness adventures, 3 children (One physically handicapped), having money, being downsized, broke, and already on my 4th career. Here we are, young and crazy about spending our lives together. Here we are, standing at 12,000 feet on Top of Beartooth Pass in Montanna, and still kind of wet from whitewater rafting the Gallatin River. Our individual passions ran deep, but we were already leaning in and learning how to stoke each other’s fires.

A lifetime later we haven’t caught our breath yet as we are still learning to lean on God and each other. Our coal beds run deep, and yes we stoke the fire in each other daily. Man, I would love to make it many-many more years with this gal.

Looking back, there was a string of choices, all connected, where we chose to support the other person above our own interest. I distinctly remember my wife starting an important conversation while on one of our low-budget dates by saying “I’ve been thinking a lot about how hard it might become in the future in caring for a spina-bifida daughter…I will always take care of her until I can’t.” After much conversation I said to her, “then I will take care of her with you.” Neither of us realized then how much that would change who we would need to become.

I remember coming to an important fork in life’s road and almost choosing wrong. I was working 80 hours a week; my wife was taking care of the kids most of the day and working part time. I came home late for supper but announced I had only a few minutes before meeting a buddy to go fishing for the evening. All three kids were crying, and my wife was on the verge of tears herself. As I went out the door, I remember my wife asking for my help and some other things she said. I left anyway and went to the lake where my buddy did not show up.

I sat in my boat on the lake for 15 minutes where God had a very short and one-sided conversation with me. It must have been God as all he said was 5 words…”does love look like this?” The love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) in the bible came to mind as I loaded the boat and drove home. I had almost memorized all the ways that chapter talks about what love is. I went home and asked for forgiveness from my wife. I told her I would sell the boat if that was what it took to be a good husband and father. She told me that from the beginning she fell in love with an outdoors adventurer, and she would not make me sell my boat or quit taking adventure trips…however…yes, there were things to discuss and course corrections to make. It’s become a lifelong discipline for us.

We each have different passions and personal interests as we have walked through life’s joys and sorrows. We lean heavily on growing a deep relationship with God and each other. The source of the fire within us is God and we tend to each other. All these years later we still care for a mostly bed-ridden but very bright handicapped daughter.

Psst…A hint on love advice from a couple with no bad years, (wow, no bad years relationally) now 41 years later… It really doesn’t work to stoke your own fire. It takes a lot of character decisions to put the other persons needs ahead of your own. That’s love…fire stoking love. Choose wisely.

Gary

Published by Gary Fultz

Outdoors Man, Hunter, Fisherman, Guide, Writer / Author, Photographer, Public Speaker, Musician, Song Writer, Story Teller, Follower Of Jesus. Love God and family and total strangers

53 thoughts on “Stoked”

  1. Those who know us well, know that our anniversary isn’t till opening day of spring fishing season (another topic on decision making) but I thought this was a great way to start off our year because we live quite fearlessly and will continue to adventure in all aspects of life possible. 44 years might be well into eternity the ultimate adventure.

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    1. Thanks Manette. We have taken some young couples under our wings so to speak. It truely is a great adventure to be lived daily till the Lord calls one and then both of us home. Be it long or short we can make it sweet knowing sweets don’t last forever in this life but it’s a great set-up for eternity.

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  22. I so loved this post! The picture of the two of you on the venture of your whitewater rafting trip is wonderful. Life is good, and God is good. Marriage is indeed a blessing when two souls love and care deeply for one another. Like that rafting trip, it is a grand adventure…Wishing you many joys in this coming year!

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