Thoughts From ICU Update

Posted byGary FultzPosted inabundant life, accomplishment, Build Faith, comments, end of life, GaryFultz Blog, goals, Know God, perspective, purpose of life, quality of life, spiritual concepts, Spiritual Perspective, victorious living, walk with GodTags:, , , ,

We did not know of her “silent seizures” already happening even when sleeping. Her whole-lower-extremity Cellulitis (the bad kind of infection under the skin) came on suddenly and triggered a series of big-potentially deadly seizures which triggered her body dumping sodium which puts the whole-body vitals out of line. Medically a deadly perfect storm. You prayed, God said “not yet”.

She is home. Our Daughter is much better, still healing from infection and taking seizure medications full time from now on. Her life has changed. We aged a few years in the last couple weeks. Tania doesn’t remember much.

A Humongous (her word) thankyou from Tania to all of you who commented and walked with us. The interactive comments are a wealth of insight and caring from so many who have never met our daughter yet care so much. A short books-worth of good reading.

Going forward, my wife and I and one other helper will keep caring for Tania. A nurse and therapist will also make home visits for a while. I was asked if life was back to normal yet. I said “Yes, but normal has changed a lot”.

Meanwhile, we came home to frozen apples on the trees and peppers on the vine. The pears on the kitchen counter raised a crop of fruit flies. We had leftovers in the refrigerator growing new medicines?? sigh.

The sun still rises and sets and life goes on. Today is a good day (so far) and appreciating Life and so many caring people like you is overwhelmingly good. To watch God work through our daughter with others’ lives has been humbling as well. I will close with what Tania has concluded (again and again in her painful journey)

“If God can use my life of pain and my broken body to nudge just one person to alter their life to know God and change their eternal destiny, I will look back in eternity and say it was worth it. I know this in my head. Sometimes in the here and now, it just really hurts” (Tania).

Gary

I plan on deleting this post after a while, and continue on with life, writing about insights for living a good intentional life in this sometimes-crazy journey here and taking more outdoor pictures that display the beauty of the moment.

Published by Gary Fultz

Outdoors Man, Hunter, Fisherman, Guide, Writer / Author, Photographer, Public Speaker, Musician, Song Writer, Story Teller, Follower Of Jesus. Love God and family and total strangers

117 thoughts on “Thoughts From ICU Update”

    1. Thanks Ellen. I was able to recap some thoughts for a breakfast group this morning. How God organizes the chaos of life to line up for his glory and benefit is in the same category as prayer (thank you so much) filed under “Kingdom Mystery”

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  4. Thank you for sharing an update. Glad that overall things have gotten better and your daughter is home and stable. Continued prayers for you all. So sorry about the fruit flies and the “medicine” in the fridge 😬 You and your family are an inspiration. With all the challenges it’s amazing to see you all stay positive. And I love your daughter’s words and thoughts on her journey.

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    1. Thanks Bridget. I think God lets us peek around the corners of life now and then to gain his perspective. It makes all the difference. Others around us (We have nurse’s and doctors’ stories that so encourage us) make a difference lest the fog of life block out God’s perspective.

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  5. Thank you for sharing a very vulnerable time in your life, Gary. God is with you all and the effective fervent prayers of the righteous avails much. My sister went on full-time seizure medicine a few years back. I understand some of the changes you all will make. God will give you the grace you need. Prayers are with you all, especially your daughter, though she may be giving us strength to keep moving forward.

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  8. What a heartfelt and humble update, Gary! I am convinced so many things we go through aren’t even for us but for others to see and know Christ in and through us. Your daughter’s quote gave me chills, what a beautiful reminder why we keep pressing on in this life. Tania’s quote also reminds me why Christianity is so unique. All other religions deal with sickness and brokenness as punishment, yet our God empathizes with us, He walks with us and gives meaning and purpose for it. May Tania’s story give hope to more people than you can count. May the Lord continue to heal Tania, and while she’s healing, I’ll be praying. Thank you again, Gary!

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    1. Thanks for your encouragement, Mandy. There is a humbling we go through when we realize we control about zero percent of our lives in some situations. We all go through it sooner or later…I read again today our lives are like a vapor…yet God loves us.

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  9. As soon as I saw that beautiful smile – before reading a word, I knew she was on her way to being better. I’ll continue praying for your daughter and your family. I hope you all are enjoying being back in the warmth of your home.

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    1. When we started seeing her smile in the O-R, we knew she was headed the right direction Betty. What a feeling. Since coming home her blood pressure has become normal again. I think she has “white coat syndrome”. Thanks for your prayers!!

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  10. Gary, I’m only just catching up on Tania’s recent medical crisis and my heart, my prayers go out to her and for her. Your Daughter’s faith is so bright in this world’s darkness, and your words of faith and trust and love burn so fiercely in our blogosphere community. How they shine to God’s glory, showing what it means to share in the fellowship of Christ’s suffering! May God bless your family. May He heal Tania and strengthen her as she continues to be a testimony to His saving grace, faithfulness, and love.🙏

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    1. Oh Dora, you are very encouraging to this (feeling older) woodsman. Tania has baffled doctors for 43 years now. One of Tanias nurses told us how much we shine brightly to the hospital staff…our eyes do not see that in our pain. God does things in and through us when others are praying.

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  11. Thank you for the update, Gary. I’m glad you included your daughter, Tania’s thoughts. It reveals just how brave and connected to the divine she truly is. You could have shared more from your own and your wife’s perspective, but chose to let your daughter’s words about her experience speak volumes. Nancy and I are praying on for the Fultz family.

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    1. Thanks David. God does so much more in our lives that are so much more important than our pain. Words just cannot convey as we really don’t understand much more than knowing God is doing something bigger than us…and he doesn’t value giving us a clue. huh! I want the pain to end while He is drawing someone closer. “thy will be done” is quite a prayer if we don’t add the fine print with lots of words conveying my will be done would be more desirable.

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  14. Amazing news, Gary. Thank you for keeping us in the loop. I’m so glad to know your daughter has made such strides and is home again. Your entire family possesses such beautiful souls. Wishing further healing and much peace and strength to your daughter, you, your wife and all others involved. Continued prayers, my friend. 😊🙏

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    1. I’m still pinching myself Mike. We are home. Our daughter made it back. Her journey has become tougher finding out her brain is in small seizure mode most of the time. As much as we dislike medications, she needs them. We celebrate each new day and take nothing for granted. Thank You for walking with us.

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  15. This is quite a story, Gary. I can see why you feel like you have aged a few years this round. I am glad she is stabilized and back home again. Take care of yourself also! We never know what tomorrow may hold for us.
    Dwight

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  16. We appreciate your update, Gary! Tania sounds like a beautiful and profound soul. I’m glad that she is home.

    And yes… the new normal. May you find deep peace and some unexpected joys in the days ahead.

    Her incredible journey continues, and for that, we rejoice with you. Take care.

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    1. You are right Karen. Thankyou. If everyone had a similar soul to our daughter, we would know what world peace looked like. She has chosen to Love God and love people in her rough journey. She smiles past her pain when possible. She will tell you she is not always a nice little Cherib as she can yell loudly once in awhile when she really hurts.

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  21. Beautiful — Tania and her smile! Hallelujah, and glory to God.

    Continuing prayers for all of you, and how God will be using each of you for His glory; and for this new chapter in your lives. God gives wisdom when and how we need it.

    Thank you so much for posting this.

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    1. You have a full plate, Pete. I also am thankful if no one noticed, God would still do what he set out to do. That thought is humbling to me. My wife and I just had a conversation about how much we seem to miss in others lives (in this case a close relative). God is blessing us more than we deserve. You are working with the least cared for people group…God bless you as you notice them.

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  24. Good News. I pray they get their diagnosis on the seizures right. Our son seems to have been misdiagnosed or is the latest idea another misdiagnosis. But his does have sleep apnea and his blood oxygen went down to 80% a lot. In using an APAP, he might finally be getting some help. But as for your daughter, “not yet” is good. And maybe the medicine will help in that regard also. I will continue to pray.

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    1. We are with you on how to approach medications Mark. With Tania’s history of reactions to many medicines, we are quite guarded. We asked for a home care nurse to monitor bloodwork and vitals for a while to ensure it’s a path forward rather than striking another crisis. “Not yet” is in year 43. That’s 40 years longer than initially expected. She’s vintage and runs on prayer. Thanks

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  25. Please, Gary, do not delete this blog! Leave it so if any ever want to come back are read it again we can, and others may stumble onto it and find Father’s grace in your, your wife’s and your daughter’s great faith. ❤️&🙏, c.a.

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    1. In our house we often reference our final ending place. There is nothing to fear as we love the Lord. It is an upward spiral spiritually…the physical part gets tough though. God’s Grace and Mercy are priceless gifts in those times

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  28. Tania’s faith through her silent seizures is a “…beauty for ashes … testimony that humbles and inspires me Gary. She is in my prayers along with you and your wife for His peace and will to be accomplished and your comf

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    1. “Beauty for ashes” well said Fred. It is a trial and suffering is involved. Its no small matter that the real priorities and proper perspectives shine through the storm. Thank you for this encouragement

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    1. It is a wonderful sound Don. We enjoy these moments, days, conversations and times together. We know the time is short. 20 years ago it seemed we had a lifetime ahead if us. While we are still a “lingering vapor” God has given us a great enjoyment level in our very beings of deep relationship, love and shurity of our future when our vapor is gone.

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  31. Thank you for sharing this good news, Gary. I am glad to read it as you and Tania occupied my thoughts as I walked and and tried to sort my own far different chaos out Thursday evening. Perspective is a beautiful gift. Thank you for adding to mine. I pray your new normal brings with it a sense of calm and peace. I’m so glad you will have additional help caring for Tania. Time waits for no one(as your refrigerator proved) and it is good God has given your family more.

    Blessings.

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    1. Thankyou Erika. There is a calm and peace in our house. It must leak through the walls. I cannot count the number of recent visitors (including delivery people) who have stood on our front deck and literally echoed the last person…”wow, it sure is peaceful here!”

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  32. Thank you Gary for being such a great guy and sharing all this. The Lord has worked wonderfully through your blog to bring a very large group of caring online people together who put their efforts into asking for His help and doing all they can also. Prayer always takes at least two. I believe the Lord must be so pleased by so much expressed love, positive action, adherence to His teachings, and great faith in Him. Your beautiful young daughter is a saint. She is so strong. What a beautiful attitude and a lesson for all. I am so glad her situation is better and that she is back home. The Lord has answered many prayers! And I believe there is more answering to come. The two of you have modeled the Lord’s parental love. All glory to our Lord Jesus and His greatest love. Amen

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    1. Thankyou for that encouragement RJ. My wife and I have been given a very vulnerable gift to protect and take care of. She embodies extreme Weakness. She cannot even feed herself right now. In her condition God is using her to show His extreme strength penetrating hearts even from afar. Just like God huh…what a kingdom weapon…prayer in the context of love unleashed by an unlikely group of warriors…

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  33. So glad to hear that she is home and with that beautiful smile after all she’s been through. There are so many families that are without the pain you have and have not the love you have. You are blessed. I never had a dad who cooked anything for me ever! 🙏🏻❤️🕊️

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    1. Thanks Wanda. I do cook. My mother taught 5 boys and two girls well between milking cows, feeding pigs and sheep and chickens and crop farming. Dad had to do something as a teacher to keep us in line and learn how to work and problem solve. This comes in handy as my wife does more caretaking than me…so I often do the meals. Glad I’m still cooking for 3

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      1. Wow! How did your mom find the time to give birth 7 times? People now days are so spoiled. What a testimony you have? And is that in Minnesota also with the cold?
        I think your mom and dad taught you well!

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  37. Gary! How can it be I opened my little book of devotions (that is duck taped together) this morning, to read about the power of prayer, titled the Prayer of Joy. “Joy is the messenger, dear Lord, that bears our prayers to Thee.” And so she is.
    When I think of Joy, your daughter is there. I never knew her name to be Tania so to me she is pure Joy, like her eyes (like your writing and photography.)
    Thank you for sharing Tania’s picture. It’s now in my heart with all the rest. Sending big hugs, (oh I wish I could in person), (where do these commas go?) along with prayers of joy and much love.❤️

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  42. First, glad that she is a lot better. 🙌🏼

    So sorry it’s been a challenging period for you and your wife. 🫂

    Praying for Strength and full recovery for her. Please be encouraged- The Lord is with you even in the storms and He is able to speak Peace over it. 🙌🏼

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    1. We are glad as well…we find ourselves watching for aftershocks and probably over-reacting to every little hiccup. Trusting God in hard circumstances has quite a learning curve. It seems that all the practice of trust in the good times might only lean us the right way into the quick corners of life. Yes, He sure is with us in the storm

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      1. While it might feel like you both are over-reacting, I believe you are doing all you do as a loving parent to her. So it’s not over-reacting to me. 🙂
        Hmm…..Yeah it is a whole different experience – to trust Him at these times. Praying for more of the strength and courage to see Him working in and at these times. 🙏🏻

        My greetings to both of them.
        Please take care. 🤗

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  43. Oh my–what you and your family have been through the last couple of weeks! Tania’s testimony that you included at the end brought me to tears. Praise God for her strength of faith. God WILL use her life and story for his glory. (Yours too, Gary.) That’s one of his specialties.

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    1. Oh yes Nancy. One finds out quickly if our strength of faith is made of plastic or metal. I would of venture to say that the closer walk we have with Jesus, the stronger any substance of faith becomes evident to those around. Im quite sure (experiencially) God supplies Faith as well, especially when we feel we have a lot of holes…er it leak out fast. WE have already seen in some big ways how God has been using Tania in other lives. I do love God’s specialties, especially when they become stories in other people’s lives whom I would never think possible. I shouldn’t be surprised but I am.

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  44. Gary,

    I’m happy Tania’s home~ her take on all of it touches my heart and soul. I’ve been reading an Elisabeth Elliot book and think of Tania.

    Her faith (and that of you and Cheryl) stays rooted despite it ALL. The pain, ups and downs, chaotic things of life.

    Thank you for sharing with us Gary. As friends and family, we want to support you in this journey. I wish there was more I could do.

    Please give your girls my love. I’ll specifically be praying about the additional support you’ll have and Tania’s seizures and entire physical well-being.

    In the spiritual health department, Tania has wisdom beyond her years and is a blessing for everyone.

    Much love and prayers to the precious Fulz family.♥️🙏

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    1. You are and have been a huge support, Karla. The girls ask me how you are doing often as well. Tania’s fear is her memory loss from all the anesthetics and seizures. We are very glad to be home and continue healing and growing stronger. It’s quite a battle. Love and prayers right back to you as well. I see we will be getting some snow flakes soon and teens for lows. Stay warm there.

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    1. And a new phase it is Edward. We do praise God a lot here. She is still extremely weakened physically, and new drugs are messing with her system, but she is back and home is quite a peaceful sanctuary. A place to tackle what life has to offer and figure out what dreams are realistic and what dreams and direction God nudges.

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      1. Transitions are always difficult, especially when starting new treatments. Having your family together and finding peace are important. May God continue to sustain your home and guide your path.

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    1. Thanks Donna. We are very thankful. Still a long winding road ahead but some sunny days really help tackle getting strength back and meds side effects ironed out. Being home feels safe. Our daughters faith has a surety to it. A substance not of this world.

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  47. I am so glad you are all home again together! Thank you for sharing the photo of your beautiful daughter, Tania. That smile made my morning! Thank you for sharing her message of hope. Wishing all of you God’s blessings, and I will continue to pray for Tania.

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  49. Wishing you and your family the best, Gary. From what I’ve gotten to know about you, there is no better man to be a rock of love and support for those around you who need it. Bless you for the inspiration you give.

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    1. Thank You Dalo. When all the fluff of life gets stripped away, the few things worthwhile come to light. In our case we are just thankful to have many caring people around us and God who is really there. I am definitely “not enough” and fairly inadequate all by myself.

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      1. There is such strength with humility. The beauty with people like you, is making people around you better – so when hard times come, they have the strength to be a spark for you… and you are able to continue to do what you do: inspire. Bless you and your daughter, your family, and those around you.

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