Blink and Wait

Posted byGary FultzPosted inabundant life, accountability, Build Faith, deadly spiritual perspective, deception, end of life, eternal, expectations, Faith, Gary Fultz Blog, Jesus Christ, Know God, most imortant relationship, perspective, spiritual deception, walk with GodTags:, , , , , , , , , ,

That instant something is terribly wrong and I am realizing it in real time…the mind races so fast that reality is in slow motion. The brain is wonderful. Sometimes brutal. My life flashed through scenes in a millisecond. The time my blood started shooting several feet from my arms. The time my tall ladder began falling, with me near the top, too fast to react. Dozens of my own “accident” scenes came to mind. I was in the middle of an eye blink while my middle daughter and I were having a normal conversation when the feeling came over me. Dread in slow motion as her words suddenly quit and the left side of her face dropped, her mouth closed but went into a chewing motion. Foam started coming, eyes closed, no response to my touch or voice and I knew she was in trouble.

A half hour later an ambulance came, secured her and left. We followed. The ambulance stopped beside the road halfway to ER for way too long. It took off again and drove straight to where a helicopter ride was waiting. We followed to where the helicopter went, to a big city ER where our daughter was hopefully being stabilized. We were brought to an empty ER receiving room where she was supposed to be.

We saw her shoes in a corner, leg braces in another, a shirt obviously cut off her body hanging on wastebasket. No bed. No daughter. We became numb with the probabilities stalking our imaginations. Eventually they brought her in on a bed, still alive but unresponsive. The ER nurse just said “OK, this is going to be complicated”

Life can change so fast. I’m sure you can relate. Nothing in my DNA allows me to see the future. Sometimes it seems like life just hits us on top of the head with a big stick.

As I write on my phone, we await a surgery in an hour. We will be here awhile. Hours. I caught up on comments from some of my blog posts. I text friends and family that know God enough to pray. I hold our daughter’s hand now and then. She’s not all there yet. She’s very sick. Too complex to describe. 21 EKG wires tell a tale. Blood samples paint a rough picture. 30 doctors (seems like) agree it a complex puzzle. She’s in God’s hands. Some doctors agree.

I watched a most beautiful sunset highlight the clouds in brilliant colors as the sun set from an ER window. How dare it be so beautiful when our daughter is fighting to get well in ICU? The world just goes on with or without us…sigh.

I scanned through a hundred news headings. None seemed read worthy. Truthfully, wrapping up the garden hose for winter is more important to me than what the rest of the world deems newsworthy. Something I can control, like smiling at people barging into the room. Most are there to help, some are there only for the paycheck. I am in no position to judge. Actually, who is? Again, yes, only God. I give in… She’s in God’s hands. She has always told us that.

Knowing God seems really important right now. We were created to know Him. All else is a vapor, like life here. Blink and ten years have gone by. Blink again and someone close is being life-flighted on a helicopter.

She has been ready for much of her life. Something she can control. At this point in time, while I write this, our middle daughter is a 43-year-old gal with severe physical disabilities. She is way more ready for eternity than most of the world. Here I go again. Judging. You and God. Not my place is it. It’s God’s. It’s yours. It’s just so important to be ready when the last realization is already over. Mid-blink.

Gary

Published by Gary Fultz

Outdoors Man, Hunter, Fisherman, Guide, Writer / Author, Photographer, Public Speaker, Musician, Song Writer, Story Teller, Follower Of Jesus. Love God and family and total strangers

135 thoughts on “Blink and Wait”

    1. Thank You Edward. Our daughter is headed the right direction with a ways to go. She has been weaned off 5 different iv meds and will need home care for awhile when we get discharged…thanks for your prayers

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  4. Gary, thank you for sharing and allowing the members of the body to assist through prayer. What a privilege it is to take one another’s burdens to the throne of the Almighty. How beautiful to know that God stores each prayer in golden bowls as incense. (Revelation 5:7-8)

    Father God, thank You for being Jehovah Rapha–the Healer. Please comfort Tania as You work in her body and do what You do for Your glory. May Your peace surround and be present in the Fultz family. Provide clarity of thought and wisdom for decisions. Lord, may each medical staff and technician work as an extension of Your hands and do so with gentleness and grace. I ask in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

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    1. I just read your prayer to Tania Manette…Tania says “is that why everything is going so good”? The doctor just informed us she will probably go home later today under home care. She is so grateful for everyone’s prayers. She will have quite a bit to fully recover. It’s possible a lot of her memory is lost from seisue activity. But she is in the hands of Jehova Rapha

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    1. Thankyou for walking with us. We just had a barrage of doctors through in various specialties all saying from their perspective our Tania can go home today with home care being lined up. She can continue fighting what’s left of infection and begin a more intense physical therapy. I read all the comments, encouragements and prayer notes to Tania…she cries with all the support saying “that’s why I’m getting better”.

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