Thoughts From ICU

Posted byGary FultzPosted inabundant life, accountability, Build Faith, deadly spiritual perspective, deception, end of life, eternal, expectations, Faith, Gary Fultz Blog, Jesus Christ, Know God, most imortant relationship, perspective, spiritual deception, walk with GodTags:, , , , , , , , , ,

That realization when something is terribly wrong and I am realizing it in real time, very fast but in slow motion. The brain is wonderful. Sometimes brutal. The very fast life of mine flashed through scenes in a millisecond. Blood shooting several feet from my arms twitched my whole body, the tall ladder falling too fast to react. Dozens of scenes came to mind as I was in the middle of talking to my daughter. Slow motion as her words quit, her face drops into a chewing motion, foam starts coming, eyes closed, no response to my touch or voice and I know she is in big trouble. Seizures only when somethings really wrong. 911, ambulance, helicopter, two hour drive to a big city ER and we walk into an empty room. Her ER room.

We find her shoes in a corner, leg braces in another, a shirt obviously cut off her body hanging on wastebasket. No bed. No daughter. We are numb. We are now camping out in ICU.

One day after my last post. Life can change so fast. I’m sure you can relate. Nothing in my DNA allows me to see the future. Educated guesses sometimes are correct. It’s easy to play God when everything is working. Impossible when not. I’m so smart until I’m not.

As I write on my phone, we await a surgery in an hour. We will be here awhile. I caught up on comments from other posts (I think). I text friends and family that know God enough to pray. Yes, judging. I hold our daughters hand now and then. She’s not all there yet. She’s very sick. Too complex to describe. 21 EKG wires tell a tale. Blood samples paint a rough picture. 30 doctors (seems like) agree it a complex puzzle. She’s in God’s hands who has entrusted theirs to a large but not overriding degree.

I watched a most beautiful sunset highlight the clouds in brilliant colors. How dare it be so beautiful when our daughter is fighting to get well in ICU?

I scanned through a hundred news headings. None seemed readworthy. Truthfully wrapping up the garden hose for winter is more important to me. Something I can control, like smiling at people barging into the room. Most are there to help, some are there only for the paycheck. I am in no position to judge. Actually, who is? Again, yes, only God. I’ll quit now. She’s in God’s hands. She has always told us that.

Knowing God seems really important right now. We were created to know Him. All else is a vapor, like life here.

She has been ready for much of her life. Something she can control. A 43 year old gal with severe physical disabilities. She is way more ready for eternity than most of the world, judging by the news headlines. Here I go again. Judging. You and God. Not my place is it. It’s God’s. It’s yours. It’s just so important to be ready when the last realization__________…

Gary

Published by Gary Fultz

Outdoors Man, Hunter, Fisherman, Guide, Writer / Author, Photographer, Public Speaker, Musician, Song Writer, Story Teller, Follower Of Jesus. Love God and family and total strangers

135 thoughts on “Thoughts From ICU”

    1. Thank You Edward. Our daughter is headed the right direction with a ways to go. She has been weaned off 5 different iv meds and will need home care for awhile when we get discharged…thanks for your prayers

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  4. Gary, thank you for sharing and allowing the members of the body to assist through prayer. What a privilege it is to take one another’s burdens to the throne of the Almighty. How beautiful to know that God stores each prayer in golden bowls as incense. (Revelation 5:7-8)

    Father God, thank You for being Jehovah Rapha–the Healer. Please comfort Tania as You work in her body and do what You do for Your glory. May Your peace surround and be present in the Fultz family. Provide clarity of thought and wisdom for decisions. Lord, may each medical staff and technician work as an extension of Your hands and do so with gentleness and grace. I ask in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

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    1. I just read your prayer to Tania Manette…Tania says “is that why everything is going so good”? The doctor just informed us she will probably go home later today under home care. She is so grateful for everyone’s prayers. She will have quite a bit to fully recover. It’s possible a lot of her memory is lost from seisue activity. But she is in the hands of Jehova Rapha

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    1. Thankyou for walking with us. We just had a barrage of doctors through in various specialties all saying from their perspective our Tania can go home today with home care being lined up. She can continue fighting what’s left of infection and begin a more intense physical therapy. I read all the comments, encouragements and prayer notes to Tania…she cries with all the support saying “that’s why I’m getting better”.

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